Self-Described ‘Trans Satanist Anarchist’ Wins Nomination for County Sheriff

 
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Aria DiMezzo, a self-described “transsexual Satanist anarchist” who ran for the sheriff’s job in Cheshire County, New Hampshire, with the campaign slogan “F*** the Police”, decisively won the Republican nomination this weekend.

DiMezzo said that she had expected to lose to a write-in candidate, adding that her surprising victory proves “the system is utterly and hopelessly broken”. She went on to explain that any system that a system that allows thousands of people to walk into a voting booth and vote despite not knowing anything about the person they are nominating for the most powerful law-enforcement position in the county is undoubtedly broken. The young GOP nominee claims that she has always been upfront about who and what she is, but that the very fact that she won shows just how “clueless the average voter is”.